So this iris is going to hold, right? --Daniel
Pure titanium less than three micrometers from the event horizon. It won't even allow matter to fully reintegrate. --Sam
So this iris is going to hold, right? --Jack

Sam. Your first command...cool --Jack

You sure you're up to this? --Daniel
Why, you don't think I am? --Jack
Well, it's just that I've never heard you referred to as a diplomat, I think, um, antagonist was the word used. --Daniel

Go figure! --Jack

Whole boxes of material could be missing. --Jack
No, the pentagon said this was everything. --Daniel
Oh please, the pentagons lost entire countries! --Jack

Permission to barge in, Sir. --Jack

Now is probably not the time to bring up my problem with
heights. --Daniel

Can we get this damn car out of here? (smashes window) --Jack
You *know* that's my car, don't you? --Hammond
You should get that window fixed. --Jack

How is it that you always come up with the worst case scenario? --Daniel
I practise. --Jack

So help me if I wake up and I'm singing soprano. --Jack

So Merim, I hear you're a reactor expert? --Jack
Yes. --Merim
How old are you? --Jack
11, how old are you? --Merim
So Merim, I hear you're a reactor expert --Jack

This tastes like chicken. --Daniel
So what's wrong with that? --Sam
This is macaroni and cheese. --Daniel

Teal'c, look scary and take point. --Jack

Now we die. --Bra'tac
That's a bad plan. --Jack

And? So? But? Therefore? --Jack

So you mean in some alternate reality there's a version of me that actually has a clue what you're on about. --Jack

You with the crown of marble! (referring to Gen. Hammond) --Hathor

Oh, for crying out loud! --Jack

With all due respect, Sir, I don't think he saved the lives of my team or came over to our side so he could become a damn guinea pig for us. --Jack

Do you think it might be a booby trap? --Sam
Booby? --Teal'c

Ya think? -Jack

Why are you so quick to come to the conclusion that I'm crazy, (gestures with hand) that I'm dangerous, I'm out of control?......It's because I'm kind of acting that way, aren't I? --Daniel

I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound...nothing comes to mind, let's do it. --Jack

Colonel, the United States is not in the business of interfering in other people's affairs. --Hammond
Since when, sir? --Jack

With all due respect, Sir... --Daniel
Sir, with all due respect, the good senator is an ass. --Jack

So, any indigenous lions, tigers or bears I should lie awake worrying about? --Sam

That's why we'd like to go back sir. Carter wants to get a closer look with her specialized do-hickeys. --Jack
Do Hickeys? --Hammond
I believe that's the technical term sir. --Jack

Weeeeell, this was an intergalactic waste of time. --Jack

How do we contact the Asgard so we might align with their forces? --Hathor
Try Roswell, little place in New Mexico. --Jack

We've been in worse situations than this. --Jack
Not to my knowledge. --Teal'c
Thanks, Teal'c. --Jack

We came here in peace. We except to go in....one piece --Jack

Well, we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it. --Jack
No, the bridge is too well guarded. --Bratac

(Rock thrown at perimeter, alarm sounds)
Perfect, if any little rocks sneak up on us we'll have plenty of warning. --Jack

If we don't make it, I won't have any regrets, you? --Sam
I'll regret dying... --Jack

Daniel, when you were in this alternate reality, were there differences? --Sam
Yes, er, Teal'c was leading the attack on earth, I wasn't even part of the program, you and Jack were engaged to get married. --Daniel
Excuse me? --Jack
What...ok, er, even if you did experience this alternate reality, doesn't the very fact that there were differences mean that we won't face the same fate? --Sam
Yes, but the defining event, the death of Ra took place in both worlds. --Daniel
An attack of retribution. --Teal'c
Yes, and the same thing is going to happen here, unless we stop it. --Daniel
All right, wait a minute, let me get something straight here...engaged? --Jack
It's theoretically possible. --Sam
It's against regulations! --Jack
I'm talking physics, Sir. --Sam

Sky... orange?!? --Jack
The sky... up there. (pointing upwards in explanation) --Native
Yeah. I know what the sky is. --Jack

It's my sidearm, I swear... --Jack

Colonel are you sure you are OK? --Hammond
I'm absolutely fine. There's nothing cruvus with me. --Jack
(Everybody stares at Jack after this last remark.)
What? (a bit irritated) --Jack
You just said there was nothing cruvus with you. --Daniel
I did not. --Jack
Yes, you did. --Daniel
No, I didn't. --Jack
Yes, you did. --Daniel
Didn't. --Jack
Did. --Daniel
Didn't. --Jack
Did. --Daniel

Good morning campers --Jack

Wow! She's... --Cromwell
Way smarter than we are, I know --Jack

Maybourne you're an idiot EVERY day of the WEEK! Why couldn't you just have taken ONE DAY OFF!!! --Carter

Listen, uh, I've gotta ask you something and its not easy for me. --Jack
We're friends. --Kowalski
If you don't make it, can I have your stereo? --Jack

You, Colonel, you're a pain in the nicktar. --Aris Boch
Neck? --Jack
No. --Teal'c

They didn't call it the dark ages cos it was dark --Daniel

Striking an officer is a quick way to a court marshal --Maybourne
I'm not gonna hit you, I'm gonna SHOOT you! --Jack

Witness if you will...squat --Jack

Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out --Hammond

I've never been so happy to see you guys --Sam
Oh sure you have! Remember that time on P3X595, you drank that stuff that made
you take off y... --Jack
Ahem... We won't get into that right now... --Sam

I think the circle means 'The Place of Our Legacy'. Um... Or it could be 'A Piece of
Our Leg,' but the first seems to make more sense. --Daniel

Teal'c. How fast will this unit fly? --Jack
I believe it is capable of travelling twice the speed of light. --Teal'c
Nice. Home for dinner. --Jack
Uh, Sir. If you're thinking of stealing the ship and trying to fly it back to Earth... even
at 372 thousand miles per second, it would still take us at least ten years to get that far. --Sam
Should've let the dog out. --Jack

Lieutenant, I'd like to record this. --Sam
Whatever you say, Captain. --Graham
Try to relax, Graham, or it's gonna be a long day. --Sam
You know, I don't think it's the artefact, he gets nervous like that every time he's around you. Maybe a crush? -- Daniel about Graham
Uh... we're recording now. --Graham
Thank you, Lieutenant. --Sam

Isn't there supposed to be a theoretical time limit to how long a wormhole could be maintained? --Hammond
Yes, Sir, we just passed it. --Sam

So Teal'c. How does one Goa'uld fire weapons from several directions? --Jack
Taks. --Teal'c
Tacnikatels? --Jack
Tak'una'tag'numa'taron --Teal'c
(Daniel and O'Neill both stare at him)
Taks. --Teal'c

I’m real, you’re not hallucinating! --Daniel
Hallucinations always say that --Nick

Now we must wait for the giant aliens --Nick
That just has a nice ring to it --Jack